Emotional Alchemy: How I Change My State Without Returning to Old Habits

~ Written December 4, 2025. Reflections on long-term sobriety, emotional regulation, and choosing healthier ways to shift my inner state.

One of the keys to my long term sobriety and clean time over the years has been the acquired, quiet skill of knowing when to use positive stimuli to change my mood. Knowing when to sit with feelings allowing them to process naturally and knowing when to give myself the nudge I need to exit a funk that’s been lingering too long or quite honestly feels overwhelming.

I can sit with feelings today and allow the processing to occur naturally without needing an explanation for why I feel this way. Sometimes it’s obvious but often there’s no apparent reason even after careful reflection. I have grown to be ok with that. OK with not feeling ok. Not knowing why I feel alone, anxious, extremely sad etc.

I also have found it’s important that I not dive head first into any feeling allowing it to dominate my experience. Feelings are beautiful nowadays. But they are just that… feelings. Sometimes they are rooted in reality but more often than not they are just phenomena like waves upon the ocean depths of my true being.

I used to hurt so bad that I had to be numbed out on opiates to tolerate even existing. Remembering this old coping mechanism well, I can now give myself grace in knowing I’m going through it with eyes and heart wide open and clean and sober, not running away.

Today I choose healthy positive activities to reset my emotional state when needed without any substances or medication… none. Cardio, gym, creative writing, a walk in nature, meditation and breathwork, videography and photography, prayer, and 12 step meetings are my mood stabilizers. Just for today I choose the natural, healthy way of balance and harmony.

~ Shambo